Las Vegas, Nevada- A trapeze artist in Las Vegas has been put on administrative leave after he pooped on 39 people. The trapeze artist goes by the stage name of Senor Swinging Squirts, but he said that he was given the stage name from a time that he “sprayed down an audience with a hose”. Mr. Squirts failed to disclose that he had been battling with the squirts from the tacos he had the night prior. When we asked him how this could happen, he said,
“Me and my homies went and had all we could eat tacos. How was I supposed to know that my insides would turn to literal goo? Obviously, I feel bad for pooping on them people. But, I also feel like I gave them a show that they will never forget. I mean, would you forget the time a trapeze artist emptied his bowels on you? I didn’t think so. “
In closing, I agree with one thing. He gave that audience a performance that is absolutely unforgettable. But, he could have given them an unforgettable performance without giving them the old “spray and pray” from his ass. Right now, Senor Squirts is only expected to be out for 3 weeks, but I feel like a larger punishment would be justified. But, I understand why they would take it easy on him, since this was his first offense.
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